ready, set, go?

Every time before I'm about to set off on another trip I have a moment where I think to myself, "No, let's turn around and forget all about this silly idea. Why am I doing this again?"

It's a mixture of excitement fully disguised by the fear of the unknown and the impending and inevitable travel stress. This moment usually hits me on the way to the airport where I am exhausted from packing decisions and finally sitting still, looking around the car at my family--a family who hate for me to go, yet are still the ones waking up at 3am to drive me to the airport anyway.

This morning I was on the way to the airport to start the first leg of my journey to South Korea. My sister, Elizabeth came along for the ride with my parents and not long into it, she reached across the seat and held my hand. She doesn't know it but that was it; she set a sting in my eyes and an ache in my heart for leaving, silently asked a question of why I would even entertain the thought of it.

I got a second chance, in a way. On the way to the airport we discovered a little too late to turn back that my flight seemed to be delayed. I got there, checked in at the self help kiosk and there it was; instead of a 7am departure, it was a 12:50pm one instead, one that would make me miss my connecting flight to Korea. After a literal two hour conversation on the phone in my stressed, sleep deprived state (because I had hoped to be half way to Toronto and fully unconscious at that point), the kind agent worked out the option of rebooking my flight for tomorrow morning, leaving at 5am, stopping in Montreal, Vancouver and on the Seoul. Not as ideal as my original flight plan but doable, and still with a few kinks as it is the weekend and I'm hoping that somebody on the receiving end will get my messages that I will not be arriving on time after all; hoping that somebody will actually be there when I land in Korea to take me to the bus station and tell me where the heck I'm going! But I am still going despite all of these extra unknowns.

Despite the setback, I am thankful for the chance to have another big homemade waffle breakfast by my momma and to sit with family, thankful for extra sleep that may hopefully make my fight with jet lag a little easier once I'm there, and thankful for more time to squeeze in a FaceTime with Robyn.

This is not how I figured my journey to teach English in South Korea would begin, but maybe somebody knew that I secretly wasn't quite ready to go yet. It was so secret that I didn't even know it. I've been working towards this goal here and there over the last six months, but actually acquiring a job and getting everything in order in the last few weeks and over Christmas has been a whirl wind.

And, because the flight wasn't officially booked until about three nights ago, it wasn't really until last night when I finished packing and in the moments on the way to the airport that I actually accepted that I was leaving. I've just been saying yes to everything, hoping it will all come together the way it needs to. I didn't feel right announcing it until I knew for certain so a lot of people won't even know that I'm going until I'm gone, but maybe that's for the best anyway. A year is a long time.

I hope to keep everyone updated once I finally arrive and get a little more settled. It's a 12 and a half hour difference from here to there which makes it pretty easy to calculate the time difference from home. So any forms of contact while I'm navigating this new thing by myself will definitely help me feel better!

Even when I have worries about what to expect in these experiences, I push myself to do it anyway. What have I got to lose in trying something new, really?

Wish me luck!

2014

I sit here in disbelief that we have come to the close of another full year. The further I get from the regular routines of my high school and university days, the faster it all seems to go and the more unique my years seem to become.

Brave changes happened in this particular year.

I left my adopted family on the Disney Wonder to work on their newer ship, the Disney Fantasy. Sure, that might sound like a simple switch but it really wasn't. I knew my job responsibilities but was suddenly living in an alternate universe. I missed my friends and the closeness of my smaller ship, but I got into the swing of things and I'm thankful for the new friendships that formed and the confirmations I received there.

I went on my first solo road trip for my birthday. I may have already been travelling like it was my job (I've made that joke before) but I'd never ever planned an itinerary out on my own like that before. I was able to visit a handful of important friends from different parts of my life and it helped me reconcile pieces of my past. Quality time with good and longtime friends is the perfect cure. Getting to spend a few days each in Disney World, North Carolina, Nashville and New York in the process was unreal.

I made the bold move to give up my life at sea. You always know you've got to get back to a normal existence some day, it's just a question of when. Tis a strange transition to go from being in a different city or country every day for months on end to remaining completely still; to be reminded of who you used to be and merge it with the person you've become. I felt like I had lost a big part of myself. But I relished in free time with my family and friends. I relearned how to cook, remembered how to hold a paintbrush, and rediscovered a few settings on my camera. The period of stillness and personal projects was something I didn't know I needed.

I've enjoyed 2014, even if these few paragraphs fail to bring it justice. There have been many moments of doubt and yet many moments of pure joy. I look back with a heart full of gratitude for where I've been and the hearts I shared it all with. It's funny how much our plans change from the year's beginning to its end. I'm thankful that there's someone Else with bigger and better plans than mine, who helps turn even the seemingly worst events and failures into the stepping stones towards a beautiful life.

Here's to 2015 and all the twists and turns it has in store.

all that sparkle

Christmas is the most magical time of the year. I love having all the sisters home together and I love that everything is extra sparkly because of all of the lights.

We decided to take a nice walk to see said lights. Except that these lights are on our boats in the harbour. I can see all of them from my house but you can't beat the experience of seeing them up close, hearing water splash against the boats with everything a-glowing.

This marks our sixteenth year of having the entire harbour lit up like this. We have a special Boat Lighting Ceremony early in December where we sing carols, drink hot chocolate, and have an early visit from Santa for the kiddos. It's a wonderful event that brings families from all around to our cozy,  little place in the world.