pandamania

Last week (24-29th) I helped out with the Pandamania themed Vacation Bible School they were putting off at my church. It was a total blast. For a few hours every morning I got to sing silly songs, help with crafts, 

play games, listen to their stories and give them hugs.
At first I was leader to a handful of nine year old boys (Cameron, Caleb, Logan, Ethan and Brandon). They were good kids, but as the week went on they pushed the limits more and more, as that age tends to do. They got Jared to take over on the second last day, but it turned out that they listened a lot better to an older father figure on the final day. I was willing to stick it out the whole week--I've definitely faced worse in my years of camp counselling, but I was moved to watching over an adorable group of 5-7 year olds instead and I was in my glee. I'll admit, that's my preferred age group and they were the absolute sweetest: Damon, Ava and her identical twin brothers Luke & Robert, and little Emily. Funny enough, once I was moved, some of the nine year old boys wanted me back!  I also missed being there for Amber, Chloe and Alicia in the older group since they were usually found at my side and some of the adults said they missed having me around too. It surprised me to hear it and goes to show that you don't realize the impact you're making by simply being kind.

This week helped fill the hole in my heart from not being at CWJ this summer. I love the atmosphere of week long activities with kids. My heart swells and I want to protect them from all the horrible things in the world. You get to laugh with them, teach them things, watch them grow and slowly open up to you. Like tiny little Emily, she was the youngest and quietest and took everything in with her big blue eyes, but on the last day she wanted to hold my hand everywhere we went and tell me all about her pet hamster. 

That's how I spell success. And cuteness overload.

 Even if it's a rough week, in the end the smiles on their faces make it all worth it.

wish list

the guts to have red hair. i might do a red tint on the next hair trip coming up soon, we'll see. i can't make up my mind as to whether or not i want to chop my hair or keep it growing out. (source)

a cute date. i want attention. (source)

more video chats with friends and family back home. i miss you guys. :(

cute clothes. well, just cuteness in general.

 camp life: having friends around and constant busy-ness, minus the exhaustion.

hey yall

Due to a site blocker I am unable to access blogs while I'm at camp. It's been frustrating, but it has helped me get over my blog addiction a little bit.

I've been having a pretty stressful summer to say the least. Exhaustion is at it's peak at all times. It hasn't been all bad, but let's just say ADD, bedwetting, pointless drama and lack of sleep amongst the children have made the last two weeks really draining. I only have ONE more week of camp counselling! Regardless of the bad, it's definitely bittersweet.

On Thursday, one of my sweetest little campers (Amya, above on the right) asked me "Miss Emily, are you going to be back next summer?" I had to say that I didn't think so, to which she said in a sad little voice, "Oh. Well I'm going to miss you!" My eyes started watering on the spot.

As hard as this summer has been in every way, when I have moments like that I melt to the floor and love my job.

I have enjoyed my weekend off though. I drove to Charlotte with Eli, met up with Chandler after he got off work, then we all drove to Columbia where the guys played a show with Jonas Sees In Color (hilarious guys with great energy on stage) and The Private Life of David Reed (who apparently told all their peeps not to show up till their set. Lame. We headed back to Chartown before they played anyway.) Got to see Blair, Lauren and Sara which was great.

Found some bathroom stall wisdom. I've been too lazy to edit these pictures. I'm sure you can tell ha.

Chandler was a great boyfriend and took me to the mall Friday afternoon to try and find a dress. It was unsuccessful, but this one from Anthropologie had the cutest fabric.

We saw Logan Sutton working at Yoforia, a self-serve frozen yogurt place and I got some later to try. Kind of what Elsie has been raving about the last couple of months where you can throw in random ingredients like fruit, nuts, chocolate.

I tried some cookie dough, forrero rocher and some vanilla been flavoured froyo with fruity pebbles and m&m's on top. It was dece, but I could mostly only taste the toppings, not so much the froyo. I started eating it before I took the picture so it's not so appetizing here.

I spent yesterday afternoon at Carowinds with a bunch of the camp staff.

It had to be the hottest day of the summer. I didn't get to ride the new Intimidator, but I'm sure I'll get a chance again some day. In the afternoon the weather changed to thunder and lightning and all the rides were shut down for about an hour.

Luckily it didn't pour down rain, or even rain a little where we were. Later that night I made Chocolate Chip Banana Coffee Cake (my favourite comfort food cake) at the house and Salim, Drew and Alexis came over to hang out for a bit.

Tonight is the staff banquet at CWJ. Hopefully it will be a fun night.

Well there's my life update. I'll be back once I'm off camp property.
Miss everyone back home a ton. xo

updatez

Heyyy there.
I've been too crazy busy the last two week to want to sit and write on my blog and censor everything that I've been going through. I barely have time and the internet is too shoddy to keep up on my favourite blogs and leave comments for my friends so I'm sorry about that. They even have a website blocker so half of the pictures that are in Google reader don't show up. Grr. So with only two solid hours of break time a day to myself there were other ways I prefered to spend my time. Part of my time was spent either by the pool with Brittany (Newfies workin on our tans!), taking advantage of my laundry days, contacting  the "E-Verify" people about my messed up paperwork (I was unidentified and a tentative non-confirmed employee something or other. Glad to report it has been resolved and I won't be deported, but I couldn't get paid this week. Boo!), and sleeeeeeeeping. Seems I can never get enough sleep. It's been an exhausting two weeks in every way.

Oh hey, here's my co-counsellor Shamekia (Sha-mee-kah). She's a blast to work with. I got to know her a bit last year when she worked as a dining room girl and was assigned to help me and Nikki out in the nighttime. She was the absolute best so I was excited that we were put together this year. We had a couple of switches with our third counsellor, so I don't yet have a picture of Amanda that I can post!

Despite how tiring it is, I love how at camp you're here to impact the kids, but in the end it's them who impact us. I had the privilege of meeting a girl named Amber during youth camp the first week. She was in my Bible/Leadership Class group and had that dyed red hair, dark punk kind of style. She was about 15 or 16. In one of the classes we were learning about how to write out and talk about our testimonies. Everyone got a chance to think about what experiences God has used in our lives to shape our faith in him and a few of them, if they wanted to, could share what they had written on their papers out to the rest of the group. Amber was one of these people. She shared that she felt very neglected as a kid and a teenager. Her mom would spend time with her boyfriend and she didn't feel loved. She was going through so much pain that she started cutting at the age of 12. Last year a fight with her mom caused her to grab her blade and run to the woods. She usually wore long sleeved sweaters to hide the marks but that night her friend made her pull away the sleeves to show her mother, exposing the crimson running down her arms. She was rushed to the hospital and they found that she had cut so deep that she had hit a vein. She had lost a lot of blood, to the point of near death. Her best friend's mom (a Salvation Army officer) came to the hospital and talked to her about how Jesus understands the pain she was going through; that she was loved and that she shouldn't be ashamed of the scars that she has. She finally started the healing process and she's been cut-free since November 2009.

Our group leader asked if she would share her testimony in the Friday night worship service and she agreed. When she got up there I could tell she was nervous as she read her story from the page. Tears were filling my eyes as she spoke. Even now as I'm writing this I want to cry thinking of how much hurt she went through before realizing the love the Father has for her. I felt so proud of her for getting up there.

After the service I caught up to her as we were all walking back to our cabins and I told her how proud I was of her and that she should proud of her scars, not afraid or ashamed. Amber shared a little more about the story with me, that she had been going to the youth group for so long and no one really knew what she was going through. She never told anyone her pain but she would sometimes sing songs that hinted at her inner pain and loneliness. A silent cry for help. Here at camp was the first time she had really talked about her struggles and she felt good about it.  She wants to help other kids going through the same ordeal.

Most of the kids that come here deal with so many real issues-- deep emotional pain that we aren't aware of. One kid was so upset this week when a counselor told her she couldn't do something and she sat down, grabbed two rocks and started digging and scraping into the tops of her legs. Pain is so real for them that they hurt themselves. It makes you feel so helpless because you want to offer them real help beyond just a week of fun at camp. It distracted me momentarily from my own emotional bruises that I was dealing with. I'm afraid of the moments where I am self absorbed. I want to keep my eyes open for the hurts of others, the hurts of these kids and keep my energy up to show them love and attention that they don't always get at home. As much of a handful a child may be and how ready I am for a new week, I need to realize what situations we might be sending them back home to.  

Oops, I didn't mean for this to be so heavy! It's just on my heart to pray for these kids. I may face some tough times but these kids give me a renewed perspective that what I'm going through, and what I've gone through hasn't been so bad. I've been fortunate in a lot of aspects of my life and I know a God who heals. We shouldn't dwell on the past because we can be made new.

On a lighter note, the randomness of kids really can brighten up a bad day. At canteen one night this week, a girl that I had not yet spoken to ran up to me and told me to follow her because she had something super cool that I had to see. She grabbed my hand and lead me through the sea of children drinking slushies on the canteen deck and she pointed to a corner where the light from the next room was shining through. A big and perfect spider web hung there, perfectly illuminated. She was in awe and was so excited that she had called me over to see it. It was one of those moments that caught me off guard and reminded me of the joys of simple beauty and a child's innocence.

Also reminding me of childhood goodness, Chandler and I went to see Toy Story 3 last night and I loved it! So funny, as expected, and it even made me cry! I was trying to hold back tears at some points. Gollyyyy!

That word, golly reminds me: I called my Mom this week to wish her a happy birthday and as we were talking she told me that I was starting to sound a little southern. Uh oh! It's finally happened. You know, this being my 4th summer here and all. She said I was saying my vowels a little differently. Oh well. I guess it's inevitable when you talk to a southern boy just about every day.

Hope everyone's week has been good. Chandler left for Florida this morning with his band for a show tonight, and will be getting back in the morning. I'm looking forward to getting my hair done this afternoon, catching up on my photo editing, blogs and other reading tonight, and simply relaxing in Charlotte for the rest of the weekend.
Ciao!